Monday, June 25, 2012
I'm done with teaching, done done done! I officially finished my last lessons today, actually, my last lessons finished a while ago but I offered parents some free lessons as a thank you note for the years that they took lessons from me. It was very emotional because the older kids who were beginning to understand the meaning of saying goodbyes started crying, if I didn't try hard holding back my tears I would start crying too.
So that's it, years of laboring over the piano, childhood lost in practicing rooms instead of playgrounds, adolescent lost in practicing rooms instead of the beach and camps, and college lost in practicing rooms instead of parties and real life, performing dreams, years and years of teaching experience, putting all that behind, this time, for real. I drove home tonight feeling a mixture of nostalgia and relief. It was, after all, a heavy responsibility to be a teacher. All these years of me constantly asking myself if I'm wasting their time, or am I making their studies worth while? Am I happier teaching instead of performing? Now I can put all that questions behind. In the end, I realized that I can only do the best I can, and if I can't say anything from the students' end, I know I've learned a great deal more from the kids and parents than a lot of things I learned from years of schooling combined.
I've really closed a chapter of my life, an important chapter, and turned the leaves to a new one. Sometimes it feels though life is a constant stream of saying goodbye and hello, and just as I thought I've made home in one place, I am already on the road for another.
Posted by Anna